Day Fifteen: It’s Not All About You…

Stop taking other people’s actions and words so personally.

Words and judgments from other people, no matter if they were friends, family, enemies or strangers, offended me. I was so careful about what I expressed (well, actually I rarely expressed my unique opinions) and that I not stand out. I didn’t want people to think I was weird for being quiet. I didn’t want people to think I was a bad person. I didn’t want people to think I had a bad home life. I didn’t want people to know I was insecure. I didn’t want people to know….basically anything! I was a full blown, people pleaser because I was so fearful of what people would say or think. Do you see a trend here? I was so scared of what people would say if I had an opinion, if I expressed my thoughts or disagreed with someone. What I didn’t realize is that everyone has a right to an opinion. Everyone has a right to be heard. It is ok to respectfully disagree with someone.

Fast forward years and years (ok, maybe not hundreds of years, but it feels that way), and I am more confident, compassionate and happier than I have ever imagined I could be. I have learned that self-expression is not only freeing but interesting! And why? I realized that worrying about what other’s thought of me was ridiculous. Their worlds did not revolve around me. Period. They had lives and were too busy to notice my own, warped insecurities. I mean, really, as long as you try your best and trust yourself, who cares what they say or think? I also learned that 99% of the time, people’s reactions are based on their own perspectives and experiences, JUST LIKE MINE ARE! What a revelation! We’re all imperfectly perfect!

Basically, what I am saying is, unless you absolutely know you violated someone’s moral boundaries or did something really wrong, chances are, you would know it and someone else’s opinion or judgment is their own. Let it be. Know yourself well enough that you don’t need someone else’s validation  to be strong and ok.

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